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Becoming Our Parents -- CHRONICLE Online/The WORD 12/05/24

Weekly On-line Rabbi's D'var-Torah

November 27, 2024

04 Kislev 5785

Vayetzei


It happens to all of us.  We look in the mirror or listen to the words coming out of our mouths and we realize that we are turning into one of our parents.  Now, sometimes that is a good thing.  After all, most of us can identify some admirable traits of our parents that we are happy to inherit.  However, inevitably, we all also inherit some of the sayings and habits that drove us crazy about our parents.  


As we read about the matriarchs and patriarchs in the Book of Genesis, we come to realize that this phenomenon is as old as time.


Twice – in Genesis 12 and 20 – the patriarch Abraham asked his wife Sarah to pose as his sister.  In both cases, Abraham collected compensation for the mistreatment of his wife (even though it was his own fault!) and it contributed to him becoming a wealthy man.  Fast-forward to Genesis 26, and Isaac does the exact same thing with Rebecca.  Like father, like son.


Then, in Genesis 27, Isaac finds himself on the receiving end of a similar ruse.  This time, his younger son Jacob posed as his older son Esau in order to receive the blessing of the firstborn.  This led to Jacob fleeing to Haran at the beginning of this week’s Torah portion.  In Haran, Jacob found out that this type of deception was also passed down on his mother’s side of the family.  His Uncle Lavan – Rebecca’s brother – had his daughter Leah pose as her sister Rachel on what should have been her wedding night, and Jacob ended up with the wrong bride (see Genesis 29).


It should be no surprise, therefore, that Jacob’s sons could be as duplicitous as any of their ancestors – if not moreso.  In Genesis 37, they faked Joseph’s death, sold him to be a slave and allowed their father to believe that Joseph was dead for many years.  Joseph, of course, got them back when they did not recognize him in Egypt, and he framed Benjamin for the theft of his goblet in Genesis 44.


It seems as though they couldn’t help it.  They all turned into their parents.


However, they also inherited something pretty special.  They were all heirs to the covenant that God established with Abraham, which eventually evolved into what we call Judaism.  And that’s something that we can make happen today.  In addition to passing down annoying expressions and habits, we can also share the beauty of our tradition with the next generation.


We do this symbolically through the Priestly Benediction which parents traditionally recite over their children on Friday nights as we welcome in Shabbat.  We place our hands on our children with the idea that any blessings that reside within us can somehow be transferred to our children


Then we speak the words of Numbers 6:24-26 –


“May Adonai bless you and guard you.


May Adonai show you favor and be gracious to you.


May Adonai show you kindness and bless you with peace.”


And somehow, magically, the blessing of our tradition more than compensates for any of the annoying things that we may have inherited and passed down to the next generation.


Shalom,

RAF.

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